everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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