His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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