My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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