glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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