Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
