I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
