I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
