I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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