Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
