Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
