lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize