My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
A+ Viking dick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize