Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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