none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize