Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
