I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You took a bar mat shot.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
