Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
