reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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