My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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