all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
