god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Two words: nipple clamps
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