all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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