So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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