at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
