Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
