What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
