I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
