We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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