Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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