I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize