Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Life is so much better after having sex.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
