i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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