My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You ruined the universe
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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