the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
