Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
