i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
