Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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