i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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