with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
