so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
