Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
