i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
