So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize