I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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