Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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