I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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