Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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