Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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