so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize