Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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