i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
