i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
