I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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