i may or may not be watching the land before time
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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