I like to think it a success when the cops are called
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
