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My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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