Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
