I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
