I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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