Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
