just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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