Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
