Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Found the puke drawer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
