That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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